Preparations began weeks before we left on July 20th. Me and Brick designed what became known as "the best Iron Maiden T-Shirts ever!" Which after everything was finish cost us over $70 dollars for four of them... But they were cool. Tuesday July 20th finally came around and at 8:00 PM I left the TV station, picked up Brick and Brian and zipped home to meet Ed. On my way home we found 3 strange pictures of a woman and her child in my car. I didn't know where they came from and I was going to toss them but Brick insisted I keep them. So we decided to take them on our trip to Cleveland.
We met with Ed, loaded up his van and by 8:45 we were on the road. So after we got on I-80 the Iron Maiden B-sides CD me and Brick compiled and burned was cranked and the pictures of the mystery woman were standing on the dash. We talked about how awesome this is going to be and settled down for the long ride.
We are on our way.
About 2 hours into the ride we were in the middle of nowhere, (Just outside of State College, PA) We started a marathon game of "Guess Who I Am?" For those of you who don't know what that is, it goes like this. Someone picks a person that the other players know, famous or not and says, "Guess who I am?" The other players ask yes or no questions. Lets just say I reigned supreme in this game winning most of the rounds. Then it was back to more Maiden talk.
Me giving the sign of all that is metal and Ed enjoying one of the finer things in life... The ability to pick one's nose in the company of friends.
Around 11:30 or so we stopped at a Sheetz for some quick food. We were all astonished and confused by the touch screen ordering things. A cute young girl behind the counter helped us and we all walked out with some good food. I got a turkey sub (which is significant later) As we drove away I ate half and told Brian to put the other half in the cooler for later.
We arrived in Youngstown (I think that's where we were) and decided to stop there for the night at 1 AM. Ed then decided to tell us that the only beer he packed was a 6 pack. At this point we knew we needed to score some booze. We stopped at a gas station and me and Brick were checking out the selection. WOW the beer was cheap. $7.99 a twelve of MGD. (or something like that) We almost cried when the gas attendant told us that we couldn't have any beer because it was after one. We were very puzzled but then realized that we were in another state... It seemed like another country for a moment there...
Brick in what he likes to call, "Beach Mode." God he is hairy.
Finally we found a shady, SHADY place (which MAY have been a strip club) and got a 30 pack of Miller (high life that is.... Uhhg!). But it was beer. Soon we were packed in a Super 8 and drinkin a few beers. I went to grab my other half of my sub for the cooler and it was soaked and soggy! Ahhh! Ed and Brick passed out quickly and me and Brian watched "The Devil's Advocate." Cool movie. Especially cuz it features FULL FRONTAL NUDITY! Woo Hoo!
Brick having one of his "attacks."
Wednesday came finally and by 11:30 AM we were heading towards Cleveland. To the Nautica Flats. To find the stage the Iron Maiden will be gracing later that day. It wasn't hard to find at all and the Flats are at cool place. OK we found it and we had a lot of time to blow so we decided to eat. (Cuz everyone knows if Ed doesn't get food in his body every few hours he goes into withdrawal) Across the river thingie we spied a Hooters... Mmmm... Hooters, I thought. Ok now how do we get there. We walked up and down the little boardwalk thingie and could not find away across. So close but yet... so far. By now we were very irritated and hungry. We hit TGI FRIDAY'S God I would never want to work there. Man they are some stupid outfits. And the hats! Jeeze! The hostess girl was cute though. Food was pretty good. We then saw some Maiden fans filtering in to the parking lot. The time was growing short.
Brick and Ed with the "Best Iron Maiden T-Shirts EVER!"
Soon we had our Maiden T-shirts on and were sitting in line by the Nautica stage. We were surrounded by some really dorky guys and many people who were eternally stuck in 1985. Skin tight jeans and Billy Ray Cyrus hair cuts. Even saw two guys walking around in all black with Leather Jackets on... Oh I forgot to mention it was about 90 degrees out. Brian, the man who for some reason makes friends every where he goes started talking to some guys from South Carolina. We traveled 6 1/2 hours to see Iron Maiden but they traveled about 12! They also said that there are two people that flew in from Europe. Finally the gates opened and we were barely frisked and we took our place in the front row right by the metal barrier, middle left. "This is gonna kick ass," I said. Soon 2 concert chicks came and sat by me and Ed they tried to talk to us, we ignored them and they left. No one was getting infront of us, or at least me...
Clutch opened the show. The music was bearable but sounded similar throughout their set. The singer was horrible. The drummer was the only really good thing about the band. If they had a decent singer they could become a better band. I have decided then and there that Ed could sing for a band like Clutch. He agreed.
Monster Magnet came out next. The singer looked alot like our friend Jay with screwed up teeth and long hair. He jumped on to one of the tiers and banged his mic stand off the stage causing an annoying thump sound and feedback. He then decided to curse and swear for a good minute. Why you ask? I have no idea. Brick and Brian decided to make fun of the guitar player to keep him away from them. This band was worse than Clutch. I hope I never hear them again. I hate Monster Magnet.
Soon four other concert chicks approached us. They wanted to get infront of us. That's it, nothing more. One asked me and Ed. We said no. Brian, (of course) was the first one to buckle and some strange nipple twisting ensued soon after. (Brian wanted me to point out he was really INTO this girl and would love to know why she left so quick afterwards. So, and I told him this was a long shot but, if you're reading this concert chick email me: jeff42@epix.net) Soon Ed and Brick buckled too but not me. Sorry, I wanted an un-obstructed view of Maiden and I knew that soon as the show was over they would vanish like a shot of tequila down my throat.
Bruce Dickinson and Steve Harris during The Clansman.
Then the projection screen sprung to life and Transylvania stated to play while clips of the Ed Hunter video game were shown. I looked and Ed and then to Brick and Brian. All of us were smiling. This was it, front row at the Iron Maiden concert. Aces High started to play and then Maiden ran out on stage. Steve Harris was flipping out mouthing the words with us. The crowd was so friggin' loud it was hard to hear Bruce sing. But when you could hear him, he was incredible. And now the annoyance started.
Some fucking moron tossed a beer at Bruce Dickinson. Why would you do something like that? Bruce responded with, "I hope you fucking die!" Which was cool. He then said something along the lines of, Hey! Don't toss beer up here, we are running around and if we slip and fall we'll break our necks and that will be it. During "2 Minutes to Midnight" the asshole did something else to piss of the band and Bruce didn't sing the second verse cuz he was yelling at this jerk off. This guy should have gotten a huge beating for what he did and I wish he was closer to us, so we could have smacked him around. I think this guy irritated the band for the rest of the show, I'm just glad they didn't storm off stage.
Soon Iron Maiden was playing a song off of the newest album "Virtual XI." As some know I don't like this album and I really don't like the guy who was singing with Iron Maiden before Bruce Dickinson came back. But, and this proves it, when the singer changes the whole feel of the song changes. The Clansman sounded 10,000 times better with Bruce wailing, as did Futureal and Man On The Edge (from The X-Factor).
Then the second moron started shit. Not with the band, but with us. This guy was a 30 something waste, who should have his head kicked in, and almost did. This guy tried to push each one of us out of our spots. He almost got his arm broke by Brian and stuck his hand in Brian's ass.(I don't know why either) He tried to kneel down and come up from underneath me and Ed but all he got there was a knee in the face. He then told Ed he was going to break his back. A fight almost ensued and the security guard grabbed Gay-30-Something-Crack-Boy and told him if he took our spot that he would be tossed out and beat by the whole security team. He settled down, slightly.
The show continued but the constant struggle to keep the front row was getting VERY annoying. Then I feel something warm splash my left leg. At this time we were knee deep in beer cups. I turned to see if someone by me was drinking a beer. Nothing. I felt it again. I looked back again and saw this guy with a dumb face on. "Did you just piss on me?" I asked. The wasted guy said "naah.." I looked down and saw this guy's tiny penis hanging out. (This guy made me look well endowed) This imbecile, waste of a life was pissing on me and Ed! As soon as I computed this in my brain he was gone. (People like this guy are a disgrace to all concert goers. this guy will probably never amount to anything, and I can take some comfort in the fact that he probably has a hard time pleasing anyone hung like he was... like a pimple.)
Towards the end of the show Ed removed his "Custom Made Sheriff Of Huddersfield T-shirt" and tossed it right into Bruce's hands. Bruce looked at it, laughed and showed it to the other guys. It was pretty cool that he kept it. At the end of the last song Brian tossed up his Black Bart Blues shirt but Bruce tossed it back. 30's something crack boy and another moron fought for in. I laughed. Idiots.
There were 4 or 5 people in the crowd who tried to ruin the concert and almost succeeded. As soon as the show ended just like I predicted the Concert chicks vanished. We made our way to the parking lot. Very sore.
Brian Ed and Me having a post show drink in the parking lot.
This would have been the best show I have ever seen if it weren't for the assholes. Maiden sounded great and it was the best performance I have ever seen a band give. It was almost perfect. We were going to go to a strip joint/and or some clubs in the Flats but we all needed showers so off to a hotel we went.
Me and Brick after the show wearing "The Best Iron Maiden T-shirts EVER!"
That night we settled down in the Ramada Inn. Brick and Ed passed out and me and Brian went searching for the Ramada Inn's lounge. For some reason we could not find it even though we saw signs pointing us towards it. Irritated but still in bliss because of the concert we returned to the room and we drank and watched South Park.
Me doing my best Bruce Dickinson impersonation. Me the next morning with like Brick says my, "Do you like Flock Of Seagulls?" hair. Brian enjoying himself while watching South Park.
The next day it was off to the Rock-N-Roll Hall Of Fame. This place was great and every musician should HAVE to make a pilgrimage there. We only spent about 2 or 2 1/2 hours there but we could have spent 5. We rushed through some stuff. But it was great. By 4:30 we were on our way home.
The Rock-N-Roll Hall Of Fame.
We decided that on our way home we would drop off a picture of the mystery woman at various places where we stopped. The first place was a disgusting bathroom in some run down gas station somewhere in central PA.
Brian and Me taking a much deserved rest on the way home. The look on my face is now known as my "Game Face."
Around 9:00 we stopped at Perkins somewhere around Danville (I think). After we were done I was paying for the check and the woman at the counter said to me," How was you guy-zez dinner?"
"What?" I replied
"How was you guy-zez dinner?"
"Oh fine," Brick said. I dropped another picture off in the bathroom and we were off. What the hell does "You guy-zez mean?"
By 11:00 we were back in Pardeesville but I still had one picture to get rid of, so as I drove back out of Pardeesville to drop Brick and Brian off I stopped at Jay's house to give him the present we got him from our trip. It was a rock. I knocked on the door. No answer. I looked around the house. All the doors were open and the lights were on. I entered and placed the picture on the window by his sink and left. Later that night when I caught up to him to give him the rock I found out that the picture almost got him in trouble with his woman, Weaver. Kinda funny...
Well that's it. If I remember I'm gonna get Brian's Brick's and Ed's thoughts on our silly ass trip 6 1/2 hours to see Iron Maiden.